I've been thinking alot lately, about the aging process.
As some of you know, I'm due to be 40 on my next birthday and sheer panic is starting to take a serious hold of me. It's like I'm thinking I'll wake up on the morning of the fated day and suddenly be completely grey haired; loads of wrnkles; liver spots and other skin flaws; athritis, osteo-porosis and other such delightful conditions, such as inconontinence and alzheimers will have made an appearance!
Now we all know that these things don't all happen over night, and that they are gradually occurring things, and that not every person suffers from every condition. But that does nothing to assuage my fears. The other thing is that in my mind I still feel about 19 years of age, (although slightly more cynical).
On the plus side, my kids are grown up, more or less, so, I have more time to be the real Kath - whoever she is. I can go places without relying on babysitters, the boys can both cook, and often do, to give me a break. Which is good.
But aside from my boys, who do I have really? My parents live close by, but are in their late 60's, and have enough medical complaints to fill a doctor's training manual! My sister and her family also live close by, but they have their own lives to lead, even though I see my nieces almost everyday. But they too are almost grown up.
So, this begs the question, is it time now to come to terms with who I am as a person, and once comfortable with that, set out once again on the quest to find a partner??? The thing is though, if it's true that there's the perfect person out there for each of us, then, either I've met him and let the chance pass me by (doubtful, i've known some right losers) or I'm yet to meet my Soul Mate (in the Romantic sense - I have a soul mate in the best friend sense); and I'm totally fed up with settling for 'Mr. Right-Here-Right-Now', and would really like to meet 'Mr. Right'. (OMG, that sounds so like a sad ad in the singles column of any local newspaper . . . "SWF WLTM . . . GSOH, NS, OH, etc" So sad).
A friend and I were discussing speed dating. Although, if nothing else, that could be a real laugh.
What does annoy me is that my teenage son has a better sex life than I do!! Battery operated toys go so far, but they can't tell you a joke when you need cheering up, or give you a back rub, or run you a hot bubble bath. I suppose you can sit over dinner and discuss your day with your kids, but it's not like being able to do it with that someone special. And it's not quite the same, cuddling up to the spare pillow from the other side of the bed when you've had a bad dream. A real person is needed for that!!
Sorry peoples, I've ranted and moaned for too long. And a special sorry to Sarah . . . who did once teach me how to cut long entries, but it's that long since I posted that I forgot how to do it.
I mightn't leave it so long before updating next time!
Luv to all who read